Peace, the most cherished of the human desires, eludes me. Day in and day out, I find myself in the labyrinth of thoughts from which there seems to be no escape. I am very poor at solving puzzles and always avoided and tried to find the easy ways out. But now the differentials of the neglect have become gathering into indefinite integrals and it seems that confounding solution is near. The drops have collected to become dam and dikes are becoming weaker and any time will give way. The dam will burst.
Most of the time, I am repenting on the lost time. It seemed to me that I have been a wastrel of time all these years. Other people feel like me, I doubt. But I now strongly realize that I have not utelized my potential. I have never let it convert into kinetic form and achieve somethings. I seem to feel defeated. I try to pick up the gaunlet but soon relaize the stamina is not there to translate. May be I am not so much of a failure as I think myself to be, yet I an sure I could have done much. Now, I remember the lines of song written by Neeraj, saying that I had stood watching and opportunities, bliss and happiness had passed at nearby distance. I have been a onlooker, I never tried to catch the butterflies hovering over the flowers, or fireflies in the night.